Hockey Heckler From Hell Heckling Hilariously
“You know, if the hockey moms can’t handle me yelling and hecklings at the rinks, I think they should stick to crosswords … and knitting.”
Look, I love crosswords. Nothing better than spending 10 minutes on the can putting a beat down on the LA Times crossword*. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen “ASP” as the solution to some kind of snake clue. My vocabulary has improved tenfold because of crosswords. So I think I’m actually a woman, because this guy made his point quite well. And you don’t argue with this face.
In all seriousness, I wanted to be very angry at the obvious / blatant sexism in his statement, but then I’d just be the hockey mom not being able to handle his heckling, which would actually mean I’m a woman who needed to stick to crosswords and knitting. Just a vicious circle of logic from this guy. I can accept the fact that I like crosswords and therefore I’m a woman, or I can be angry at his statement, meaning I can’t handle his heckling, making me a hockey mom. Either way, I’m a woman. Actually quite amazing.
“And if the young baaaaaaoooyyysss — young meeen, I should say — can’t handle a bit of heckling at the rink, they should stick to tiddlywinks … and PlayStation.”
This line here killed me. The message, the delivery, all of it, done so perfectly. The way he draws out the word “boys” was magic. I’m actually not sure if that’s just the way you say it in Newfoundland or if this guy is just special, but either way, I’m a fan. And juxtaposing tiddlywinks and PlayStation? That shit came out of nowhere! One of those random, yet profound, statements someone makes where they make a reference to something so outlandish that you freeze and just have no comeback.
“Hey, you suck, bro.”
“Oh yeah, well you look like Gary Busey playing Buddy Holly, you nerd.”
Honestly, this video made me want to visit Canada. This heckler is a huge turd, yet by American standards, he wasn’t all that bad. Asshole, sure, but polite and well-spoken. No hooligan uses the word “tiddlywinks” in their heckling. Over here, you’re more likely to get a nice string of profanities followed by a quick punch to the face (and then a bunch of kicks to your unconscious head if you’re at a 49ers game).
Just makes Canada seem like a real friendly place for tourists who just want to hit up a hockey rink, have a beer or two, talk a little shit, and finish off the day with a nice crossword.
* I just switched from an Android phone to an iPhone, and the only thing I regret is that there are literally no good crossword apps for the iPhone. Android had Shortyz which was the best thing ever. iPhone? Nada. Huge blow to my bathroom break enjoyment level. If you know of any solid crosswords apps for the iPhone, leave a comment, because I need it, BAD.