Leonardo DiCaprio is Completely Full of Shit

I’ve never really understood the appeal of awards shows. Sure, I enjoy movies and television, but award shows just strike me as odd. You get actors and musicians, the most pretentious and out of touch people on planet earth all in one room, and have their pretentious peers vote on who did the “best,” to further add to their pretentiousness. It’s a beautiful sight! But is there anything more cringe-worthy than a celebrity talking about a social issue? I mean, we should definitely take advice from people that play make believe for a very comfortable living.

 

Anyways, I assume you clicked on this article for my scorching hot take on Leo, so let’s get to him. While I believe awards and award shows are preposterous, when 9PM Sunday night rolled around and my Twitter feed was filled with Oscar tweets, I felt compelled to throw it on. Well that plus my wife’s affection for fashion, the only reason women watch these shows. I’ve seen all the memes about Leo’s lack of Oscar and since he’s the real life Vinny Chase, I wanted to see him get his long awaited win. In fact, to back up my original anti-award show sentiment, the sheer basis that Leo hasn’t won an Oscar to this point should tell you all you need to know about the legitimacy and creditability of the Oscars. The guy is a marvelous actor, so that only leaves me one issue with him. Leo gets the most predictable win in Oscar history, graciously accepts his award from Julianne Moore, begins thanking people, and then he does what most of these dipshit celebrities do, pretends like he knows and cares about a current event:

And lastly, I just want to say this: Making The Revenant was about man’s relationship to the natural world. A world that we collectively felt in 2015 as the hottest year in recorded history. Our production needed to move to the southern tip of this planet just to be able to find snow. Climate change is real, it is happening right now. It is the most urgent threat facing our entire species, and we need to work collectively together and stop procrastinating. We need to support leaders around the world who do not speak for the big polluters, but who speak for all of humanity, for the indigenous people of the world, for the billions and billions of underprivileged people out there who would be most affected by this. For our children’s children, and for those people out there whose voices have been drowned out by the politics of greed. I thank you all for this amazing award tonight. Let us not take this planet for granted. I do not take tonight for granted. Thank you so very much.

AHHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Dude are you fucking shitting me? Ok first off, I’m not some right wing nut job that thinks that global warning is a hoax. So let’s get that out of the way. Not my problem with this. My problem is that Leo, dude whose net worth is going to eclipse $250 million this year, motors around our hot planet searching for snow and indigenous people in a private jet. If he needs to take the search from air to water, you’ll find him on his private yacht. This dude’s carbon footprint gets larger in a week than I could do reincarnated 20 times.

The notorious Sony hack a few years back revealed that Leo flew privately from LA to NYC once a week for a month a half. He took at least 20 trips around the world flying private that year. In 2014, while you and I were watching the World Cup elbow to elbow at our favorite watering hole, our boy Leo rented one of the largest yachts on our hot planet from a big oil executive to watch the beautiful game.  Must be nice. Something tells me he doesn’t have a windmill powering these wonderful toys.

Our children’s children? Leo is on record saying he doesn’t want kids. The line that gets me is “we need to support leaders around the world who do not speak for the big polluters” and “people out there whose voices have been drowned out by the politics of greed.”

DUDE, YOU’RE THE BIG POLLUTER. YOU’RE THE ONE WITH GREED.

Leonardo DiCaprio is like the dude trying to get you to join his pyramid scheme. Leo is Drew Peterson giving you marriage advice, Bernie Madoff advising you on your money, or Tim Tebow coaching you on giving your girlfriend an orgasm. Leo is your boss that doesn’t know how to create a formula in Excel but criticizes the pivot table you put together. Leo is the dude who walks into a sauna, increases the thermostat while wearing a fucking parka, and starts crying to everyone about how hot it is.

Look I know Leo’s intentions are good. I realize that Leo brings a lot of awareness to the issue, works with companies to offset his damage by planting trees and creating initiatives, but he just comes off as a phony with his spiel. With his notoriety and fame, he could be such an example for the issue but his actions are simply fraudulent. Sure, speech will resonate with a lot of idiots (Oscar’s target audience) but he can’t pull a fast one on us.

In the video below Leo is participating in a climate march when he’s asked by a reporter about his lifestyle, take a guess on what happens next.

“We need to show leadership,”- says guy that is literally doing the opposite in every sense of the word. While climate change isn’t a hoax, you are my friend.

…..Inception is still my favorite movie tho.

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