I Present To You The Greatest Music Video Ever Made


I think everyone is aware that electronic dance music has officially taken over the world. You may have tried spending the last couple years denying it, but it’s here, and it’s here to stay. With that said, DJ’s used to be an alternative to pop music, ala the Kanye’s and Bieber’s of the world.  Kanye is an insufferable cunt and Biebs couldn’t be a bigger chode if he tried. They both pay big money to someone to produce their music for them, mutter some arbitrary words over the top, and prey upon the delirious US population to eat them up and pay hundreds of dollars to see them in concert. Rinse and repeat. Next time you sit around marveling at their songs, ask yourself how much you’d enjoy it if you stripped away that catchy melody you love and just had to listen to them speak. I’d rather light my own face ablaze and have someone attempt to put it out with a shovel.

But now we’re faced with a whole new evil. The musically sound DJ’s have been overtaken by these “big name DJ’s,” who in reality are just an extension of those aforementioned insufferable cunts.  You got Steve Aoki, whose signature is throwing cake at his fans and breaking unsuspecting necks. Carnage who dresses like a two-bit cholo and dubbed his acid dropping fans the “Chipotle Gang” (what the fuck does that even mean?). Tiësto left the genre that made him huge to appeal to frat boys and cash in.  The most renowned DJ duo at the moment is Dimiti Vegas & Like Mike, who jump around on stage like a couple of wankers. And what do all these artists also have in common? It’s highly suspected that they pay for other people to create their music for them, and stamp the songs as their own.

Enter Gareth Emery & Ashley Wallbridge, or as they’d like to be referred to as now: CVNT5. Now both these guys are established DJ’s who I’m sure mean no harm, but want to poke a little fun at themselves, their counterparts, and the current culture. Enjoy…..



The detail in this music video is what does it for me. The subtle bookmarks in Safari, the custom V-Moda headphones, attempting to buy Twitter and Instagram followers, bleeping out what appears to be “Borgeous, DVBBS, and Markus Schulz,” all notable artists accused of ghost producing, and most of all, the hilarity of kids everywhere idolizing DJ’s as holy figures and how quickly the fame enlarges DJ egos. Getting Armin Van Buuren in a cameo was a nice touch as well. All of it is spot on and delivers the perfect blow. Well on lads. And while the video is meant to be a joke, the track is actually damn fine and can be found on Gareth’s upcoming album.

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