Top 10 Harold Reynolds Quotes of the Postseason

Oct 24, 2011; Arlington, TX, USA; MLB Network reporter Harold Reynolds on air prior to game five of the 2011 World Series with the Texas Rangers playing against the St. Louis Cardinals at Rangers Ballpark. Mandatory Credit: Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports

Oct 24, 2011; Arlington, TX, USA; MLB Network reporter Harold Reynolds on air prior to game five of the 2011 World Series with the Texas Rangers playing against the St. Louis Cardinals at Rangers Ballpark. Mandatory Credit: Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports

Harold Reynolds, the gift we all wish God never gave us.  For reasons not known to me, Harold’s voice wound up emanating from tv speakers across the country this past month. Fox Sports’ incredibly tone deaf decision to throw Reynolds back into our living rooms on baseball’s biggest stage left us all wishing we WERE deaf. Whether you watched every pitch of the MLB postseason, or just enjoy laugh out loud stupidity, I’m here to help. I’ve broken down Harold’s best quotes of the playoffs.

10. (After Curtis Granderson stands back up after falling down in Right Field to field the ball) “Granderson really actually saved some extra bases by getting back up”

Cutting edge baseball, or just overall sports analysis here: The player actually benefited from standing back onto his two feet as opposed to laying down on the playing surface and watching the action go by.

9. (Hitter attempting to sacrifice bunt) “You want to bunt this ball possibly foul.”

Noooooooooope.

8. (Describing Royals Pitcher Chris Young) “It was easier to hit Randy Johnson than this guy because you were expecting him to throw it in the high 90s”

Claiming Chris Young, 36 year old pitcher with 76 career wins and less than 1,000 strikeouts, is harder to hit than Randy Johnson, winner of 303 career games, nearly 5,000 strikeouts, five time Cy Young award winner and first ballot Hall of Famer (among other credentials). Just when you thought Harold couldn’t be any dumber, he goes and says something like this (and not redeem himself).

7. “When (Josh Hamilton) gets it going, he’s a lot like other guys that are hot.”

Related: when water is wet, it’s a lot like other water that is wet.

6. (Referring to Michael Conforto, after he singles in the bottom of the 12th inning, with 2 outs and nobody on, of an elimination game when his team is down five runs.) “He’s got ice in his veins”

Harold’s definition of clutch revealed

5. “Your second baseman almost has to have a middle infielder’s arm”

This man is wise beyond his years

4. “We talked about foul balls into the stands….they don’t play a lot of baseball in Canada, a lot of people aren’t used to catching them.”

A country of 35 million people. Home of legendary pitcher Fergie Jenkins, and the Blue Jays CATCHER Russell Martin. But nah, Harold is an expert on Canadian athletics and hobbies. Plus here in America, we practice catching baseballs all the time in stadiums with our bare hands. We are experts.

3. “You see his knee catch the base here, that’s where Donaldson gets hurt”

Watching the play live wasn’t enough. Watching three slow replays of Rangers Second Baseman Rougned Odor’s knee smash Josh Donaldson’s skull in crystal clear High Definition wasn’t enough. Seeing Donaldson on the ground holding his head wasn’t enough. Hearing Tom Verducci say “he gets a knee to the head” wasn’t enough. None of that was enough to keep Harold from acting like that pompous know-it-all dickhead, disregard just about everything sensible, and diagnose Donaldson with a knee injury. Full disclosure: Donaldson left the game due to “light headedness” and had to pass a concussion protocol to play the next game. I’m sure Harold is out there somewhere reading this saying hindsight is 20/20.

2. “This is the pitch of the at bat for me, the 2-1. It’s either gonna be 3-1 or 2-2. Or an out. Or a base hit, or whatever.”

Probably at the point of the article where you think I’m making shit up, right? Yeah Harold may have said some of that other stuff but now it’s reading like an Onion piece. Nah.

1. (During Game 5 of World Series, with the Mets needing to win three straight games to win series) I think the pressure is more on the Mets than the Royals.”

Fuck sake man. The only reasonable conclusion I can form is that Fox and Reynolds are collectively trolling. Jokes on us. Move over Darren Rovell, Reynolds has dethroned your spot as king of trolling.

Hired by ESPN in 1996, Reynolds’ tenure came to a halt ten years later when he was terminated for sexual harassment. Per Harold, it was a “misunderstanding,” and he simply gave a female coworker a hug. Uh-huh. Harold seems like the kind of dude that could have dropped his pants, asked her if she wanted a Gonzo and not realized that was a poor choice. It’s pretty apparent this man either gives zero fucks, or has zero awareness of any decisions he makes. It would be easy for me to boycott Reynolds and start a petition to request better from Fox, but honestly, I kind of like it. Reynolds’ moronic comments are unmatched, even to the likes of Tim McCarver and Hawk Harrelson. He provides entertainment with his complete lack of baseball knowledge and common sense as a whole. The season has been over for one day and I already miss him.

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